Hello

its been a while, i am planning a trip to jamaica at December and i refuse to avoid pictures this time. so enough is enough, i ready to get into the body God intended for me to be in, and its not this one. How do i plan on doing it you ask, because i have been up and down and at my biggest now for years. i am elimanating carbs. Today is day one, i did great despite the chili i had with the beans in it, which i know has carbs in it, but baby steps! i can say that i did not have bread sugar or milk its day one and im going strong. i wont put numbers up just yet but i will keep a picture diary. also today brie told me that fema is intrested in me. i pray and pray and pray that i get this job, its only everything i ever wanted in a job! for the next few weeks i will work a crapload of overtime, pay down some debt. marely is so restricted i feel really bad, i wish i was in great shape so that we could go running together. so eat (no carbs,) pray, love.

Ena k Ofurhie passed away 03/27/09

i am so crazy right now, one of the best things to walk into my life is gone. i can not make people understand what gone means. i think everyone thinks i should be over it. it has only been a week. i look for signs all arund me. will he just relocate a shoe from its normal spot, or will he remove the cyst feeding on my blood supply. i just dont know. i think of anything and everything i can to keep connected to him, god, maybe a palm reader i just dont know. i can confirm that the worst thing about life is the death of those you love. death is not such a horrible thing once you have family and friends already 'there' waiting for you, but ofcourse you have to leave behind other love ones that will greive for you and become depressed, like myself. NO SOLUTION. i will continue to talk to him, which to other people looks like im talking to myself, but that ok.
Ena your a beautiful amazing person, take me with you when it is my time. and will joke till 4 am again. and i will watch you rap and make awsome beats.

bless
natalie

A Goal

So a couple days ago i decided that i would tackle this elephant in my living room, my weight issue. I have been battling this "Thing" for a while now. It has gotten to the point where i don't even believe myself when i say i want to change, but the truth is i do. I am a really happy person when i am in control of my weight, it is one less thing in my life that i have to stress about. I could use that! I have a passion for cloths and looking good in them. This can be nearly impossible to do when i don't fit the things that i like. It doesn't help that i work in the health field, doing screenings and telling others that they should loose weight,hypocrite, i know. But i have a plan. Arbonne, a friend told me about it, so i will try it. I also have some time away from my demanding job allowing me to really have a shot at this! I think i believe in myself again. Monday is the day, i will be posting!

tah tah

 

The begining of the begining 3/10/08

Hello,

I am Natalie, a pretty laid back 27 year old, both older and younger then my years, if that's possible.i have been wanting an outlet for for the build up of energy and thoughts that overload my brain for a while now. I look forward to doing so on my Gmail blogger.

Big in my life right now is my boyfriend, i both love and adore. I am not sure if knows just how much. There are times that i stand at a distance and marvel at him. He is unaware of the charm he has and the dangerous hold he has over me. I say danger meaning, i have invested in his love and he in mine. I have broken down my barriers. allowing myself to look forward to a future with him, maybe having some children together. When i look at him i see a person that has been through a lot and has been misunderstood far to many times. He is needy, and requires so much from me emotional, but he deserves everything, i will give him all i have. I asked him the the other night, if he would take care of me when we got old, and without hesitation he put my mind at ease.

I did not intend on making this blog about him, but naturally my love a affection shines through in my thoughts more then i can contain.

i have loved before and have been loved back, but now is the only moment that feels real and the only moment that counts.